In every BDSM relationship, communication and understanding of each partner’s boundaries are crucial when delving into various kinks and fetishes. Chastity play, where one partner, often the submissive, is denied sexual release using a chastity device, is a common exploration for many couples. However, navigating this aspect of BDSM can present challenges, particularly in selecting the right device, setting boundaries, and fostering a healthy dynamic. This article aims to provide insights, tips, and guidance for those interested in incorporating chastity play into their relationships
Where to start?
We cannot emphasize this enough—open and honest communication forms the foundation upon which every exploration should be built. Discuss with your partner or Dominant: What are your objectives with chastity? Do you envision it as part of a kinky play scenario, or perhaps as a component of everyday life? This principle holds across various aspects of life, particularly within relationships and concerning sexual fantasies or kinks. If your partner entrusts you with their innermost desires, it’s imperative to listen and respect their courage in sharing them with you. Even if a particular kink isn’t to your liking or makes you uncomfortable, refraining from shaming them is crucial. Fantasy exists in a realm separate from reality — it serves as a safe space for your partner to place their trust in you and hopefully derive enjoyment from exploring together!
This principle applies equally if you’re a Dominant with a submissive expressing an interest in chastity. What are their goals? Are there specific scenarios they wish to enact? Does chastity intertwine with elements of humiliation? The importance of open and honest communication cannot be overstated—there’s no room for embarrassment here.
How to select a device?
Now it’s time to select a device! For those new to using such devices, the majority would likely recommend starting with a silicone cage. They are reasonably priced, come in a variety of models and colors, and are generally more comfortable for beginners.
You have the option of plastic/resin, silicone, or metal cages. Each has its advantages depending on your preferences. Plastic devices strike a pleasant middle ground, while metal ones are ideal for intense play scenes and pushing the limits of chastity. Silicone devices offer excellent comfort for day-to-day wear due to their flexible nature.
When measuring yourself, ensure accuracy — don’t overlook the measurements! You’ll typically need to know the length of your flaccid shaft, the width of your soft shaft, and the girth of your shaft and testicles (measured from behind the scrotum and around).
Advantages of chastity device
- Prevents Masturbation: Chastity cages keep your partner’s sexual energy focused solely on you, preventing them from wasting it on masturbation or thinking about others.
- Improves Sex Life: Using chastity cages can lead to a more fulfilling sex life as your partner’s attention remains on you until they are released. This can result in increased eroticism and more intense orgasms.
- Exploration of Fantasies: Chastity play allows couples to explore various fantasies, such as orgasm control, tease and denial, or forced abstinence. This exploration can deepen intimacy, trust, and communication within the relationship as partners share their desires and boundaries.
- Discipline and Control: Chastity devices can be used as a form of discipline or punishment within the dynamic. For example, the dominant partner may impose chastity as a consequence for disobedience or as part of a training regimen. This reinforces the dominant-submissive dynamic and establishes clear boundaries and expectations.
- Boosts Self-Esteem: Resisting the urge to masturbate can lead to a sense of pride and self-control, boosting self-esteem.
- Sustains Romance: By limiting sexual release, partners remain attentive and romantic, keeping the relationship fresh and exciting.
- Reduces Infidelity Concerns: Chastity devices help to curb urges that may lead to infidelity, promoting loyalty and faithfulness in the relationship.
- Enhances Orgasm Quality: Limiting masturbation preserves penile sensitivity, resulting in more satisfying orgasms when release occurs.
Let’s sum up!
Using a chastity cage can really improve your sex life. This can lead to quite intense experiences and bring you and your partner closer. But diving into it isn’t something you do on a whim. You need to really talk to your partner about what you both want and expect from him.
When you’re ready to give it a try, do some research to find the cage you need. It should be comfortable and fit well, take your time to choose one. Dive into it and make sure you’re both on the same page every step of the way.
Above all, maintain constant communication. It’s going to be a journey, so talk about what’s working and what’s not and how you both feel about it. With some patience and understanding, using a chastity cage can really take your sex life to a whole new level 😉
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